I am losing my faith in love and romance. I have not been in a relationship for a long time and am losing all hope of ever being in one. I suppose I could go out and meet other women but I get sad when I see happy couples out and about enjoying themselves. It’s even worse at the holidays, I am hiding away more and more and fear becoming bitter. I doubt if you can help me, mostly I just want to vent.
Dear Fearing Bitterness,
Whatever we deny to others we really deny to ourselves. Whatever we give others we ultimately give to ourselves. Love grows by giving love. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.
Our mental outlook is the context through which we view the world. It’s commonly known or referred to as attitude. She who cannot change the very fabric of her thought will never be able to change reality. Change your attitude - change the world. Or as Gertrude Stein once said, “Think well, and think again.”
My wish for you is that you love yourself and that you enjoy being yourself more every day. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just acceptable to you. Perfection is impossible to obtain or sustain on this planet. Acceptance comes from within. Give others, including your self the benefit of the doubt. The closest we can get to perfection is accepting our selves and others just the way we are. Acceptance that the world is unfolding in the perfect time space sequence.
Most people are not attracted to people who are miserable, unhappy, bitter or angry. Hearing someone complain constantly even if the complaints are legit is a real drag. Consider this joke `Misery: I love you. ‘Company: ... let's just be friends.
There are many online dating services, explore three or four and see which one you prefer. Finding a partner is not impossible. The secret of happiness is to enjoy being your self, the secret of the law of attraction is to be happy within. It is a life skill worthy of consideration and development.
It’s an inside job my dear, and I do hope you will give it to yourself this holiday. If I were you I’d begin by seeing plays, musicals, movies or concerts that bring you pleasure. I'd practice being happier for others. Be the love you want to receive. You will be amazed by the dividends.