At the top of the episode, we get a crying Callie getting ready for work. Some might take this as a sign that her resolve is softening and that she's getting ready to let Arizona back in. Wrong! She promptly marches into the hallway (where Arizona is unpacking, having bought out the sub-letters) and delivers one of those patented, inspiring yet self-righteous speeches that we have all grown so accustomed to during the course of our viewership. The gist is that Callie wants nothing to do with Arizona. Not in a coy, “come get me and prove yourself to me” way, but in a “I do not like you in a house, I do not like you with a mouse, I do not like you here or there, I do not like you anywhere” way. Oy, kiddos, this is gunna take a while.
At the hospital, the residents (including, once again, Cristina! Yay!) learn that they will be acting as glorified tour guides for the day, catering to all the questions and concerns of first-year interns. Did anybody besides me forget that Lexie is still an intern? Whoops. At least she knows her spleen from her kidney. Right, we didn't get there yet. Alex's intern is gorgeous, Meredith's is the future addition to the Dark and Twisty club, and Cristina's is on his way to becoming the new George O'Malley (anybody else get a Buffy flashback? Hello, Adam Busch, how've you been?). Also, when did April become a ginger, and who told her it was a good idea? I don't care how many freckles you have, if red isn't your natural color, it's best to keep it that way.
We get a bit of Stooges-like farce when the Chief, Dr. Bailey, and Cristina all learn that their patient, Henry, is married to Teddy. It's a lovely bit of runaround and awkwardness that reminds me of what I loved about the first season.
Next up we get to see an adorable gay male couple who have had some bad luck on the way to their commitment ceremony. Hey! It's Ricky Vasquez! Don't know who that is? Homework time! He was trying to be a romantic, but ended up indirectly causing his partner to be trampled by horses. How often do we think that happens in Seattle, huh? Anybody up for a bet? The romantic objects to Callie's request that he leave the room on grounds of fair and equal protection under the law. Welcome to the first public service announcement of the evening, kids. On any other day, Callie would sympathize with the situation, but today her bitterness is overshadowing her compassion. One word: Moody.
Turns out that Henry is sicker than we thought and could possibly die from the surgery he needs. Teddy's turn to comfort him and make some decisions. Is it just me or is Teddy turning into Cameron from House?
Arizona and Mark have a teenage girl as their patient who was born with Treacher-Collins Syndrome, meaning that she was born without cheekbones. Mark proposes an innovative and experimental procedure to construct cheekbones out of bones from a cadaver, but Arizona recommends they stick with a more traditional, conservative approach. Excuse me, conservative? Is that what won her the Carter Madison Grant? I think not. Mixed in with their disagreement over treatment plans, Mark scolds Arizona for the way she has treated Callie. Besties for life.
Teddy rants to the Chief about all of the inappropriate relationships that are currently taking place in the hospital. Duh! Speaking of which, what do we think of Bailey and her new boy toy? Eli is either arrogant or just very confident in his abilities as both nurse and lover. Either way, Bailey looks giddy and happy, so that's okay by me.
At lunch Alex continues to hit on his intern while the rest of the residents commiserate over their current complaints. April gets just a little bit too testy about the display, leading me to think that mayhaps that little thing she had for Alex wasn't so little, after all. Seriously, I still can't get past that hair.
The fight between Callie and Arizona rages on, but for the first couple seconds I am transfixed by how gorgeous Jessica Capshaw is. Baby weight? What baby weight? Wow. Callie reiterates that she wants nothing to do with Arizona, but the adorable blonde seems determined and marches off with fresh resolve to be better, brighter, and more proactive. She tells Mark that she agrees with his approach and strokes his ego a bit in the process, especially when she jumps in to reassure the parents that this is the best solution for their daughter. The patient encourages her parents to allow her to have the surgery, as she longs to play sports. She tells them that she is “a tomboy who was never able to be a tomboy”. Anybody else think we might be welcoming a new member soon?
The trampled groom has come through surgery and Callie notifies his partner. The man's heartwarming and romantic speech gets through to Callie enough for her to unleash some of that compassion we all know she's full of and escort the man back to his partner's recovery room.
The Chief scolds Teddy for marrying a man she barely knows and Teddy stomps her feet and yells, “But, Dad, you're ruining my life!” Okay, maybe that didn't happen, but the Chief seems to be transforming into more and more of Papa Seattle Grace Mercy West with each passing episode. He scolds, he advises, he even rewards, but always with a stern look in his eye. Teddy expects a similar reprimand from Bailey, but the (woman formerly known as) Nazi is too busy being giddy and attempting to convince Teddy (and herself) that she is not dating Eli. It just makes me happy to see her so happy, and the rest is all bureaucratic crap.
Mark and Arizona perform the surgery to rousing success, and Mark makes sure to let Arizona know, “I'd choose her over you in the divorce. You know that, right?” Arizona tells Mark she sees him as an annoying brother type person and, while their camaraderie is endearing, I'd much rather see her laughing and joking along with Callie, perhaps in a more bedroom-type setting.
Meredith yells at Meredith Jr. for not taking her job seriously (really, who texts during surgery?) and they both pout. Boohoo. Then we find out that Alex received the best evaluation of the day, and he takes to gloating which, apparently, results in him sleeping with his intern as she surprises Avery and April in Meredith and Derek's kitchen later that evening. Very convenient how they all live together. Betcha it saves money on set construction. Upstairs Mr. and Mrs. Brady Shepherd are disappointed over their failure to conceive, but then make googly eyes at one another and get to trying again.
We end the episode in the magic elevator of Seattle Grace. The place where dreams are born, couples are united, and random hook-ups begin. Unfortunately, I think it has lost some of its luster since the remodel. Callie and Arizona descend between floors while Arizona pledges to Callie (Calliope, as she makes a point of calling her whenever she makes a sincere declaration of love and devotion) that she will not give up on trying to win her back and prove that she is worthy of another chance. It's beautiful and honest and romantic...and fleeting. Callie drops the bomb to end all bombs. She is pregnant with Mark Sloane's baby. Arizona's face falls and the rest of us join in a collective “What the @#$*%&?!”
That's it for this week, kids. I'll be recapping the rest of the season, as well as Glee and (for the next episode, at least) Private Practice. Leave me some comments and let me know what you think about the episode, about the recap, what did you like, what would you like more/less of? Until next time: Live well, laugh often, love much.