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Friday, 28 October 2011 17:09

Bisexuals are Not Gay

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Dear Sappho,

I’m rather tired of being called gay when I am bi. Seems society thinks all bi men are gay and all lesbians are bi which is so stupid. Bisexuals are not lesbians. Sometimes lesbians become bisexuals. I like to keep them guessing.




Dear Keep them Guessing,

I agree with you, bisexuals are not gay, nor are they lesbians. Sexuality is fluid, but sexual orientation is usually discussed in terms of three categories: heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality, though asexuality is increasingly recognized as a fourth. The three exist along a continuum that ranges from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual, including bisexuality. The current consensus among scholars is that sexual orientation is not a choice. Though bisexuals would appear to have more choices.

The protests you make seem to be to the words used to identify the differences. Perceived sexual orientation may affect how a person is treated. For instance, in the United States, the FBI reported that 15.6% of hate crimes reported to police in 2004 were "because of a sexual-orientation bias." Most of the violence being directed toward gay men. There is also the human element of not being limited to an arbitrary definition that may change over time. During my lifetime I have, at one time or another, identified with all three labels before identifying myself as a lesbian, and I also refer to myself as gay.

The majority of people report a mostly heterosexual orientation, though the relative percentage of the population that reports a homosexual orientation varies with differing methodologies and selection criteria. However, research also indicates that there are some statistically significant physiologic differences between homosexual and heterosexual individuals. Most researchers conclude that sexual orientation is a complex multifaceted issue in which biological, social and psychological factors combine to play a role in the ultimate sexual orientation of an individual. To complicate matters sex is different from and not exclusively limited to conditions or emotions of love.

Through-out history and in the ancient world people were married, but may have also had sexual relations with people of the same sex. Although many famous lesbians have been married, it was primarily to men. Some of the famous lesbians were: Sappho, Vita Sackville West, Virginia Woolf, and Violet Trefusis. Famous gay men who were married to women include: Cole Porter, Noel Coward, Aaron Copland, Oscar Wilde, and Anthony Perkins. Society is less repressed now, and lesbians and gays feel safer proclaiming their sexual identity. That wasn’t always the case. 

Some gay and lesbian people are activists reclaiming the right to be themselves in spite of labels, hence the passionate reacceptance of the words dyke and fag. Some gay and lesbian people who have previously identified as being bisexual may think that identifying with the word bisexual qualifies as passing for acceptance with heterosexuals. A 1999 review by researcher Bruce Bagemihl shows that homosexual behavior has been observed in close to 1,500 species, ranging from primates to gut worms, and is well documented for 500 of them. Homophobia is observed in just one species, which is more natural?

I wonder why gender should matter as long as love is involved. Through reincarnation people evolve spiritually by experiencing both genders, across time, cultures, and ethnicity. t’s a brave thing to be yourself and love without labeling or limiting yourself or others. I applaud it and I wish everyone would just be them selves, freely love whoever they love, and stop judging others. After all, love is still love. 

Free Love From Oppression!



Lezbelib is the online magazine that helps LGBTQ+ women to stay updated with entertaining blogs and breaking news about LGBT rights.