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Friday, 01 July 2011 00:00

How Can I Find My Soul Mate?

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Dear Sappho,

You have a connection to Aphrodite and a great understanding of love. I need advice and wisdom. I am a single Lesbian tired of drama and heartbreak. How can I find my soul mate? I know she has to be out there somewhere!


Longing for Real Love

Dear Longing for Love,

How to find your soul mate is not just a good question, but - the quest of a lifetime. Such an important question probably cannot be answered simply or quickly. First let’s define soul mate. To me this means a true love, spiritual partner, a romantic partner, a lover, best friend, confidante. Some people believe that soul mates do not always agree or are not necessarily in complete alignment but someone who pushes you to be your best higher self. I assume you are referring to the romantic version with the happy ending.

I’m sure that there is not just one and only soul mate per lifetime. I have had several endearing soul mates over the course of my lifetime. In fact I haven’t been without one for eons. But I have longed for real love too and I used utilized several tools that were of tremendous help in finding and recognizing soul mates.

Some of the obvious but understated tools used are prayer, intention, spells, focus, connections and of course, actions. I have used them all with varying degrees of success and failure. One simple tool could help you focus. Draw a circle on a piece of paper. Put everything you want in this soul mate relationship into the center. Be specific, be real, write inside the circle what you really want. Examples: Passion, truth, acceptance, communication, harmony, etc. Outside the circle write everything you don’t want. Ex. No harpies, no republicans, no fundamentalists. Whatever.

When I was young I once used a love spell. At the time I was intent on manifesting a passionate romantic sexy lover. The spell worked like a charm, a woman was knocking down my door the next day with what I considered unsuitable sexual requests. It was an unintended consequence and a great lesson in being more specific with my requests. My advice is to be as specific and detailed as possible in your intentions.

I next advanced to the 7 x 70 method where every day for 7 days I wrote 70 conscious focused intentions about what I wanted and was prepared and willing to receive in love. Something like I gratefully and willingly accept the love of my life. The true love of my life completes me and fulfills all my romantic ideals. My true love is seeking me as surely as I am seeking her. Aphrodite blesses and assists me in finding true love. My true love is a beautiful sexy Goddess I adore and worship. Etc

I was head over heels in love with a charming beautiful intelligent sexy woman. Hopefully you can see for yourself the error of my reasoning. I was young and focused on passionate love, beauty, romance, without foreseeing the future, health, finances, or life outside our idyllic cocoon. That relationship lasted 10 years and she was a Goddess and the love of my life but not my one and only soul mate. It was perfect in many ways but there was also lots of drama, ideological differences and unwarranted jealousy.

I have been in my current relationship for 17 years and my partner is truly a soul mate. I found her at work. We became colleagues then friends. First I admired her professionally then personally. We are equals, we admire and respect each other and we have a physical and spiritual connection that transcends this world. However she is not my only soul mate in this lifetime. I have several lifelong friends who also qualify.

Recognizing a soul mate is another thing. I have a built in detector like a combination gaydar and a smoke detector. I get all kinds of signs and signals including thrills, chills, bliss, intoxication, and inspiration. These are my favorites and I cultivate the delightful women who instigate them. They make me love being alive!

Intentions, focus, even destiny itself are vacant without action. You must extend yourself to connect. This involves risk. It includes problem solving. Where can you find the woman/soul mate of your dreams? At venues you prefer, among people and events you value. I have not used an online dating service but If I was single I would look online. The ability to meet different people with specific qualities has never been easier.

I agree that someone special is out there for you. Are you willing to stop longing and start accepting and experiencing? Are you willing to be specifically detailed and direct in your desired results? Are you ready to take action? List with on line gay dating services, there are several on Twitter.

There are also Feng Shui tools that aim to attract. Like pairing things in strategic placement. I think your imagination will bring you the best results though. Imagine what a soul mate relationship would do for your life. Is it possible that Aphrodite has already said have I got a girl for you that you overlooked?

But remember, love and soul mates both change evolve and grow over time and what you wanted at one time may change. That’s life the only constant is change. A soul mate is different than a lover, a girl friend, or a life partner. It could be one or all of these. It could also be a friend, relative, a pet or a mentor. It transcends human limitations and boundaries because it is a soul connection and if you believe in reincarnation like I do, then the plot thickens.

I think there is also some spiritual law about longing being it’s own pleasure and having being another. Take action and have some forays into the dating world but do come armed with a specific blueprint of the house of love you wish to build. Best of love luck dear, invite me to the celebration after you find each other.




Lezbelib is the online magazine that helps LGBTQ+ women to stay updated with entertaining blogs and breaking news about LGBT rights.