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Wednesday, 12 January 2011 05:39

Just Ask Me...Spoken: Enjoying Watching My Girlfriend Having Sex With Someone Else

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As a child I use to lay my Barbies on their plush pink chaise lounge, retreat to my grandfathers withered rocking chair with pen in hand, and ask them to tell me their deepest woes. I spent hours getting lost in my imagination solving relationship issues between Ken and Barbie that stemmed from Ken’s crush with the neighbors husband and his love for Barbie’s heels and helping Skipper realize that inside of her was a beautiful tomboy waiting to come out.


Now I’ve traded my dolls for real women with real drama and offer advice on everything under the sun. Are you a boy trapped in a woman’s body or vice versa? Do you have trouble obtaining an orgasm? Are you in love with your neighbor’s hersband? Not sure how to tell the kiddies that you are ready to exit the closet? Hell, not sure how to open the door in the first place? Bedroom not as hot as it use to be? Honey paying more attention to the Wii than you? Don’t know what fellatio means? (Hey it’s possible…)


Just ask me, Spoken


Now my lovely Lezzy’s slip into something sexy or nothing at all and bring on the questions. It is my oath to bring you my unadulterated honesty, my divine wisdom, and feminine wit.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Dear Spoken,

I have a secret that I have been keeping in for quite some time. About a month ago I walked into my home to find my girlfriend of 3 years having sex with someone else. But my question doesn’t pertain to her adultery but to the fact that I enjoyed watching them and left the apartment without saying a word. Now I’m all confused and plagued by visions of them together. Yes I’m hurt that she cheated but I am even more upset with myself for enjoying what I saw. HEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!



The reluctant voyeur


My Dearest Reluctant,


I want to first start off by saying that there is nothing wrong with you. I think you really need to hear that.

The fact that it bothers you more that you enjoyed what you saw, says to me that it’s time you started exploring your sexual desires. Sometimes we live our life thinking that the person we are today is the person we will always be. We shun those who roam in the alternative realm because of the masses subsequently pushing our own self proclaimed deviances deep down into our subconscious. Then something happens. We catch a glimpse of something that we swore we would never do and it starts bringing up that which we had suppressed. We allow what is considered “the norm” to control us and infiltrate our truth.


You may be a voyeur or secretly desire a threesome. But before you make a move you need to face yourself and really investigate what it is that you desire.


I suggest that you grab a glass of wine, slip into something comfy, and grab a pen and paper. Start writing down all of the secret things you think about and never tell anyone and then start exploring these things by writing about them in depth. Start looking up books that speak on your fantasies. Utilize the net. There are support groups, forums, and other outlets that can offer you insight on what’s going on inside of your head …research is power.


Now listen about this cheating thing…nip it in the bud. Although you may fantasize about watching or participating in a Ménage à trois, cheating is not in the equation!

You need someone to participate with you not behind your back.




Lezbelib is the online magazine that helps LGBTQ+ women to stay updated with entertaining blogs and breaking news about LGBT rights.