I have a secret that I have been keeping in for quite some time. About a month ago I walked into my home to find my girlfriend of 3 years having sex with someone else. But my question doesn’t pertain to her adultery but to the fact that I enjoyed watching them and left the apartment without saying a word. Now I’m all confused and plagued by visions of them together. Yes I’m hurt that she cheated but I am even more upset with myself for enjoying what I saw. HEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!
The reluctant voyeur
My Dearest Reluctant,
I want to first start off by saying that there is nothing wrong with you. I think you really need to hear that.
The fact that it bothers you more that you enjoyed what you saw, says to me that it’s time you started exploring your sexual desires. Sometimes we live our life thinking that the person we are today is the person we will always be. We shun those who roam in the alternative realm because of the masses subsequently pushing our own self proclaimed deviances deep down into our subconscious. Then something happens. We catch a glimpse of something that we swore we would never do and it starts bringing up that which we had suppressed. We allow what is considered “the norm” to control us and infiltrate our truth.
You may be a voyeur or secretly desire a threesome. But before you make a move you need to face yourself and really investigate what it is that you desire.
I suggest that you grab a glass of wine, slip into something comfy, and grab a pen and paper. Start writing down all of the secret things you think about and never tell anyone and then start exploring these things by writing about them in depth. Start looking up books that speak on your fantasies. Utilize the net. There are support groups, forums, and other outlets that can offer you insight on what’s going on inside of your head …research is power.
Now listen about this cheating thing…nip it in the bud. Although you may fantasize about watching or participating in a Ménage à trois, cheating is not in the equation!
You need someone to participate with you not behind your back.