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Saturday, 07 May 2011 04:18

Just Ask Me...Spoken : Lezbelib Advice Column - 'She Walked Into My Life'

Written by  Spoken Pandora


We have it all wrong...We walk around in this hurricane we call life feeding ourselves lies to make it through the storm. There are several common misconceptions that we spoon feed our mind and tonight I want to focus on one in particular; love. See at some point we thought we had control over it and that we had the ability to pick and choose who we loved. Now I wont shatter your bubble too much, we do have some control.

You see her across the room or run across her bio on some social networking site or maybe you work with her. In your mind you tell yourself that you are allowing yourself to fall for her. But the truth of the matter is that your heart has a mind of it's own and your body simply follows like a hungry puppy.

Im sorry to tell ya but you can't control who your heart pants for. At the very least you can fight the urge and you either fall or run.

Welcome to the Advice Column where I try to solve all of the little issues that plagues us in hopes of tightening the bond in your relationship. Have a question, I have an answer. Contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..



Let's jump right in...

Dear Spoken,

I would describe myself as a level-headed and clear thinking individual. I gave up on fairy tales a long time ago and believe that everything has a price even love. And then she walked into my life. It was subtle at first. I would see her at the bar me and my friends hang out at. Occasionally our paths would cross at a club or two, the coffee shop I'm addicted to, and today she had the audacity to walk into my place of employment.

We have never spoke, barely made contact, and hell I'm not really sure if she even notices me as much as I notice her, until today. As I walked her out to the elevator she placed her hand in mine, looked into my eyes, and kissed me on the cheek as if we had known each-other for years.

I can't explain how she made me feel in that one moment but I can't forget the feeling either.That one simple gesture has been messing with my mind without letting up and honestly, for once in my life, I am at a stand still. What do I do now? I mean maybe she is just friendly. Maybe I am reading more into her prolonged grasp of my hand your or innocent kiss on the cheek. Either case I'm stuck. I actually considered scoping out her file to get her number and that is way crazy for even me. Got any advice?


Dear Lovestruck,

Listen a friend of mine told me recently that only I have to live my life. Keyword I took from that: LIVE. Sometimes we allow fear of rejection to stop us from making the first move. Heck sometimes we allow fear itself to stop us from living. Now first things first. Do not ever, ever, ever, ever, did I say EVER use a clients information for personal reasons, even if they tell you to. Obviously you will run into her again outside of work and this is where you approach her. Notice I didn't safe "IF". The reason for this is that life is too darn short to pussyfoot around with what if's and maybe's.

She has seen you and the exchange in front of the elevator was her way of telling you. You seem like a straight forward and serious type of person. Let down your her, loosen the tie, or slip off the loafers and go for it. What do you have to loose. I am sure that you didn't get at where you are today by not taking chances. If you let her slip away who knows you might be walking away from your future wife or at the very least a good friend.

Things happen for a reason. I no longer stop myself from following signs. We don't know what our future holds and ever path doesnt come with a set of directions. Live a little, dance a little, walk on the beach with your shoes off, take a walk in the rain, and just live.

And by the way, what you are feeling is a strong attraction. Do you think it is going to go away if you pretend it doesn't exist?

Keep me posted sweets and go ahead and walk into the unknown....

Well folks that's my time. Feel free to drop me a line at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Besitos and all that jazz...


Lezbelib is the online magazine that helps LGBTQ+ women to stay updated with entertaining blogs and breaking news about LGBT rights.