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Friday, 24 August 2012 00:00

The Art of Making Love

Written by 

art love


Dear Sappho,

How is it that some women know exactly what to say and do to make you feel loved and supported? How does one learn to express affection, communicate with charm, and comport one’s self with grace concerning love. Is this something you can teach or is it an innate talent and gift from Venus? How can I elevate love to an art?

Dear Love Artist,

Elevating love to an art form is an attitude, a lifestyle in which one works with emotions as though they were paintings formed by feeling. What can you do that will make your beloved feel loved in the way she has always craved and dreamed of? Is it a trip, a wedding, a house, dozens of roses, satisfying emotional sexual connections, or all of the above?

The art of making love really doesn’t require material items or outdoing yourself each time you connect. Being co-dependent or high maintenance does not prove it. It is the steady reassurance that your love is higher than the standard requirements of this reality. It is a form of Chivalry where you put the welfare and concern of the beloved above your own.

Some people, especially some women, have an innate gift and talent for loving. They know how to soothe ruffled feathers, nurture, guide and convince others gently. Some know how to make others feel as though they are the most valuable person in the world. It’s not as difficult as you might suspect. It is both a philosophy and a practice. Some learn it through heartbreak and others learn by positive example. Either way the art of love is the consistent effort to be kind, gracious, noble, and supporting to those one loves.

We are all mentored in ways that may or may not be gracious and or lovely. We learn by watching, listening and being guided. We each decide what is acceptable or desirable. Not all are mentored in the ways and art of love. Many are mentored by fear, motivated by punishment and addicted to pain. We tend to mentor others as we were mentored.

Nobleness, grandeur or a loftiness of thought is required to raise, elevate, or position love beyond the standard reference to an art form. We create the conditions for love to evolve from investing our own thoughts and feelings in loving as we would toward creating a work of art. It often involves romance, flowers, music, candles beauty, sweetness and human pleasure and comfort.

Sincerity, kindness and emotional self-control are important ingredients. I believe familiarity breeds’ contempt and recommend keeping some mystery or privacy in a relationship. A sharp tone, harsh criticisms or unkind words erode love instead of elevating it.

Therefore I believe it is learned or earned behaviors transcending petty actions and expectations. It’s a way of serving love, and love is always a higher calling. Ask what may I do to serve you tonight my dear? How can I make you feel happier and promote your well-being? It is possible to increase one’s perception and art of loving through conscious awareness and choice. It is part of the gift of loving. When we give it to others we also give it to ourselves. It is a blessing to all involved.

Love Always,



Lezbelib is the online magazine that helps LGBTQ+ women to stay updated with entertaining blogs and breaking news about LGBT rights.