Wednesday, 21 November 2012 21:58

What is True Love?

Written by 

 

Dear Sappho,

What is true love? How do you know when you’ve found it? How would you define your true loves? How can you definitively know that your love is true when looking at it from the past, the future, on the side, or in the present? Is such a love destiny or chance? What type of love is truer than true love?

 

Dear Love,

What is true love you ask? Well first of all, one caveat, all loves are true, it’s just that some loves are truer than others. A true love that is true for both parties, in every single category, in every dimension; including spiritual, mental, emotional, physical and beyond. That's why it’s magical when it does happen both parties have to be attuned and participating on a similar wave -lengths.

While I believe that true love is destined, it often involves chance. Timing is crucial, but without the type of chemistry that makes your heart do back flips and your stomach do somersaults and with mutual inclination, it does not rise to the level of true love. To those that believe falling in love once in a lifetime is enough and say they would make it last forever, I say - I’m with you and good luck. People change, things happens and despite everyone's good intentions, some true loves do not last a lifetime, and with good, but perhaps unknown reasons.

The average person falls in love 3-6 times during a lifetime. The first is the most powerful and acutely remembered. The less than true loves that didn’t play out are revealed to be infatuations, affectionate affairs, friends, duty, mercy or obligatory encounters that fall below the gold standard of true love.

True love is the thing that everyone strives for, the pinnacle of a lifetime of accomplishments. There is something just a wee tiny bit better than true love; I call it true, true love, and sometimes I call it true, true, true, love, My first true love after a many years of separation is still considered a true, true love. First we had many great adventures; meeting in college, driving a school bus in a caravan to California, hitchhiking all over the US, hiking the John Muir Trail, living on the beach, driving a VW bus across the US and back. Within each adventure multiple miracles occurred. We went on to other relationships but when we get together we call each other true, true, loves and we have always been friends, wanting and bringing out the best in each other.

My next true love also turned out to be a true, true love. My beautiful younger partner who looked like a Goddess and made love like one too. We will be together on the other side as well. My last true love is still with me. Taking care of me like I am the most important love of her life. No one has ever mentored me in emotional intelligence and wellbeing like she has. I’m certain she is a true, true, true love whom I have loved not in just this lifetime but many, many lifetimes. I grew emotionally and spiritually with each.

First of all I know my love is true because my heart tells me so. I know the love will blossom when her heart tells her the same thing. Looking back at lovers, girlfriends, and crushes I can tell you this, if I knew then what I know now I would have pursued and expressed myself more passionately to women I have loved. I would have cared less about what people thought of me, and more about the way I felt about them. 

Perhaps as lovely as true, true love is, having a true love who is also a true partner is even better. One who listens, helps, can speak for you, always wants to bring out the best in you. That lasts longer than hormones and chemistry. A true partner is there till the end, usually your number one fan and backer. If I had known then, what I know now I’d realize I was my own biggest obstacle. I would have kissed all the women I wanted to, only much sooner and with all the passion I trembled with. I would have published my poetry sooner and taken that long honeymoon in France. Ah, but the days and years pass on, as do we. I’m just reminiscing because it’s the next best thing. Go dear Lovers gather your kisses, caresses, roses and adventures while you can. The only thing better than you reminiscing about Love is having Love reminisce about you.

True Love,

Sappho