Congratulations to NY for legalizing Gay marriage! As a public service to help Lesbians across the Empire State, U-Hauls across New York will be shutting down for the next three months. They like to call it a "cooling down" period, but we like to call it insurance for making sure the vagina you touched for the first time last night doesn't become your new wife by next week.
Let's face it...everyone fucks up once in a while.
Get some good advice before you need it and learn how to make relationships work.
We're here for you.
It's important for us as Lesbians to make sure that we always uphold the stereotypes people hold about Lesbians.
You can do your part by making sure you sport a mullet at least once in your life, buy flannel shirts in three different colors and always be sure to wear comfortable shoes.
Whenever possible, hold your wife's hand in public and give her a kiss on the lips in front of a crowd.
Why do we need to do this you ask? Because it scares the crap out of straight people.
Things take a serious detour for just a moment as we reminisce about coming out to the family and how it all went down.
Take a listen as we travel back in time.
Somewhere in the world there must exist an institution where Lesbians can go to learn how to be a proper Lesbian.
There will be woodworking classes, workshops to learn all about the different types of denim and flannel, and an extra credit course you can take to help you make your work boots match your outfits.
The one class that is required by all attendees will be how to shake hands properly without crushing the crap out of everyone you meet.