I am slowly admitting to myself that I really am trans, that I do want to transition. I feel more comfortable with male pronouns, with a masculine chest, with my hairy legs. So how do you tell someone that? How do you explain to someone that your gender is not truly female, the sex you were born, that you are really male? What can you say to someone to get a person to understand?
While researching today, I found a campaign working toward creating an equal environment for all genders at colleges and universities, The National Student Genderblind Campaign (NSGC). According to their mission statement, they question the way society has dictated that women should room with women and men with men. Why can’t students live with whomever they are at ease?
A friend recently suggested I write about hate. It’s such a hard topic, something we as LGBTQ people encounter on an almost daily basis. The level of hate one encounters, though, varies by location. Places with laws protecting the community such as California and much of the Northeast tend to be more accepting. People also vary in their acceptance of the community based on their level of education (generally those who have experienced higher education are less likely to harbor prejudice), their religious beliefs, and their social class.
I am about to graduate from a women’s college in Virginia. I have always loved it here: the people, the community. Generally, I feel safe. I feel secure. I know I can walk around campus holding hands with my girlfriend and no one will care. But trans issues at a women’s college are complicated. Again, I know I am safe, but there are constraints to that safety.
According to transgenderlaw.org, almost 400 colleges and universities have protections for genderqueer students. Some states are more progressive than others. It’s always a good idea to look up the policy at any college or university you are considering.
I want to talk about dating and how gender affects the process. Generally, dating is hard. There are so many aspects which go into a relationship: compatibility, willingness to compromise, similarities in values, and attraction, just to name a few. It is a struggle to find someone who lies within the parameters of what you are looking for and to fall within what that other person—who might fit all your hopes and dreams—is seeking.
People have certain expectations going into a relationship, and it is hard to compromise those expectations for yourself or to set yourself within those your partner might have. So what do people expect from me? Or really anyone? I feel like expectations have a lot to do with how you present yourself. If you present yourself openly and honestly, what you see is what you get, and you don’t have to worry about that conversation down the road of Hey, I think I might want to be a man or I have kids or any other form of surprise a partner might reveal once comfortable in the relationship.
I was never one of the normal little girls: no bows, no Barbies, no dresses. God help my mom if there were dresses. I loved action figures (Spider-Man is the best super hero), climbed trees, jumped in mud puddles, cut my hair short, and played a sport every season the recreation club in the neighborhood had enough kids to play. I epitomized the gender stereotype of the tomboy.
Typing transgender into Google news today overwhelmingly returned results on Chaz Bono’s decision to join Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). Many articles I read were in opposition to his participation in the show, though there were some articles in support and some which refused to take a side on the issue, merely reporting the controversy.