Let's face it...everyone fucks up once in a while.
Get some good advice before you need it and learn how to make relationships work.
We're here for you.
It's important for us as Lesbians to make sure that we always uphold the stereotypes people hold about Lesbians.
You can do your part by making sure you sport a mullet at least once in your life, buy flannel shirts in three different colors and always be sure to wear comfortable shoes.
Whenever possible, hold your wife's hand in public and give her a kiss on the lips in front of a crowd.
Why do we need to do this you ask? Because it scares the crap out of straight people.
My girlfriend is friends with ALL of her exes, is that reasonable or normal? Plus - I don't like all of them and some of them dislike me. I can tell that some of them have less than flattering things to say about me and I suspect they would like to see me gone from her life? Did you have that problem on Lesbos?
When the bitch absolutely, positively has to be gone overnight...there's only one way to get it done.
More good advice to help our listeners out.
Every Lesbian in the world is separated by only three exes or friends.
You'll find proof at any event where Lesbians congregate. Tell just one person some interesting or exciting news and the Lesbian phone tree and cell phone networks will light up within 5 minutes to spread the news to everyone.
The whole world will know that you're single again before your profile loads on Match.com.
They may be lurking in a neighborhood near yours and you don't even know it. It's the Lesbian counterpart to the Stepford Wives...the Lezford Wives. They drive their Gaybies to play dates in their understated, yet overpriced, family-safe Volvo. They're dressed neatly in perfectly pressed khaki pants and a delicately starched pink or baby blue polo shirt with a very comfortable pair of designer shoes with low heels. Of course there will still be football on the TV on Sundays and a cold six-pack in the fridge at all times.
Somewhere in the world there must exist an institution where Lesbians can go to learn how to be a proper Lesbian.
There will be woodworking classes, workshops to learn all about the different types of denim and flannel, and an extra credit course you can take to help you make your work boots match your outfits.
The one class that is required by all attendees will be how to shake hands properly without crushing the crap out of everyone you meet.
The week has come and is now almost gone. While many of us our planning out weekend rendezvous and escapades, some of us are planning the next move in our relationships, bedroom excursions, and/or dating lives. And this is where I come in. Why ask your single friends what to do in your relationship? You’re interrupting their playtime with your drama.
Instead, why don’t you come, lay your head on my couch, and spill all. There’s no question too big or small that Spoken won’t answer.
How many dead horses must a lesbian beat before she realizes it is well and truly gone. I see how women get themselves into the same situation over and over and over. It's like they don't realize you have to unload all your bad baggage before you get yourself into a new relationship. How can you possibly have a healthy and happy relationship with someone when you are still carrying luggage from the past? And as we all know, some of that luggage can be pretty darn heavy to bear.
Okay kids, let's skip along to Relationships 101 class. All those who think relationships are easy raise their hand.... hmmm,, I think I spot a lone hand sort-of in the air in the last row. Gooooood on ya. Glad you find them easy. Perhaps enlighten the rest of us as to how to make them easy. Or I'd even be satisfied with easier.
After a six-month relationship I find myself single again and have done some serious thinking about relationships in the past three weeks since. We all have a part in the tanking of the relationships we find ourselves in and I wanted to figure out where I personally went wrong. I don't like repeating mistakes so examining under my microscope the workings of the ins and outs of what was good and what wasn't seems important. Previous to this relationship I was single for quite some time. I am not a relationship-jumper, as I think you carry around a far heavier burden of baggage if you do jump from one gal to another quickly.