As I continue to think about myself and my gender, there are certain questions which sprawl through my mind. I often find myself quoting in my head Romeo and Juliet: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose / by any other name would smell as sweet” (Shakespeare II. ii. 47-48). These lines are important to remember, meaning that no matter what the name, the make up of the individual remains the same. Names are assigned, only a signifier of the person you are. So why am I discussing names?
I am a monogamous lesbian who has had a series of long-term serial relationships but I have always felt that marriage was not for me - even in a lesbian relationship. Committing a vow or a promise to love just one woman indefinitely, or as some prefer, through-out infinity makes me uneasy. In fact it makes me feel like I could possibly be called a liar in the future. How can anyone possibly promise something that far in advance without knowing all the possible outcomes?
At any rate, since I was young and had three girlfriends at the same time I have always felt that all lesbians should be free to love any one by mutual choice with the full consent and knowledge of all parties involved. Isn’t that what emotionally mature lesbians did on Lesbos? Marriage has never been the final goal of any of my relationships.
Do you understand what I am advocating and if so can you give some positive examples of how to socially navigate such an ideology? It’s a step further than freeing love from oppression and I’m curious as to whether do you think it is a step in the right direction?
Free Love Evolving