Another week, another column, and another question...Hello my beautiful lezies, it's me again...Going through your personal baggage and helping you clean house. There's something about spring cleaning that brings relief, but along with it comes that moment where we must face ourselves and the situations that have bogged us down for years...
My solution for the maddening obstacle? Simple, bring me your junk, I'll sift through it, conquer it, and even send you a box of chocolates(okay maybe not the chocolates) But none the less I will help to make those burdens lighter by offering you a new and different perspective on the issues that are plaguing your life....
Hello my lovelies, how have you been?
My apologies for the delay with this week’s column… technical difficulties with cyberspace…you know how it goes.
Thank goodness for the weekend, this week has been a doozy and from some of the letters I’ve been getting I can put my money on the fact that I am not the only one who has had a trying week. So with that being said, let’s jump right in.
I have been thinking a lot lately about life, direction, the state of affairs in our community, and my ability to go from one closet to another. During my mental overload I received a letter that helped to make me remember the simple things. Those little things that mean the most but are often overlooked.
I have talked about the all forms of drama that plaque us; sex, cheating, threesomes, dating, etc. Today I want to focus on what matters - love. I want to thank the person who sent me this question and offer my sincere hope that through my advice she will see the light through her darken forest.
Another week has come and gone and I find myself once again in my favorite place, on my couch and reading letters with, yes you guessed it, a nice cup of caramel macchiato and a freshly lit ciggy. This week has been a doozy hasn’t it? With increasing gas prices and tragedy in Japan and along our coast I am starting to listen to the crazies on the street warning us to pay attention to the signs.
Please remember to take a moment of silence for those that are being made to endure these tough times and for those souls that have been called back home.
I am losing my faith in love and romance. I have not been in a relationship for a long time and am losing all hope of ever being in one. I suppose I could go out and meet other women but I get sad when I see happy couples out and about enjoying themselves. It’s even worse at the holidays, I am hiding away more and more and fear becoming bitter. I doubt if you can help me, mostly I just want to vent.
Hello, Lezzies Spoken here once again.
Today we have a huge question so I am just going to jump into it. K?
I recently began talking to someone for about a month and some change. I like them for a lot of reasons being their personality and outlook on life etc. Well if i was to label myself I would say I am a lesbian and the person I am speaking to is a Male [FTM (Female to Male)]. He has told me a lot about himself so far but we didn’t get to the part of being a FTM, which now he doesn’t even use that at all, he calls himself a Male. [He also clues in that he is a FTM, like he says he don’t use T shots and he kind of sounds like a girl, i don’t want to say emotionally similar to a girl but he kind of is] I didn’t touch on that topic with him or even ask questions because this is new to me and I don’t want to offend him in anyway, I don’t even know how to go about it. [When we first spoke he said, you know I am a male and you are a lesbian, then he told me he can only speak to people that respect his gender]I speak to him as if I know he was born a male. [I was just going to go about this whole thing like, ok I no he is a FTM but now i will respect him for the man he wants to be.. but where does that leave me.. being straight? which i am not*]I am also WORRIED about how our sexual relationship will work out, I don’t think he got any surgery done down there but the way he speaks about down there it seems as if he did.
I am a monogamous lesbian who has had a series of long-term serial relationships but I have always felt that marriage was not for me - even in a lesbian relationship. Committing a vow or a promise to love just one woman indefinitely, or as some prefer, through-out infinity makes me uneasy. In fact it makes me feel like I could possibly be called a liar in the future. How can anyone possibly promise something that far in advance without knowing all the possible outcomes?
At any rate, since I was young and had three girlfriends at the same time I have always felt that all lesbians should be free to love any one by mutual choice with the full consent and knowledge of all parties involved. Isn’t that what emotionally mature lesbians did on Lesbos? Marriage has never been the final goal of any of my relationships.
Do you understand what I am advocating and if so can you give some positive examples of how to socially navigate such an ideology? It’s a step further than freeing love from oppression and I’m curious as to whether do you think it is a step in the right direction?
Free Love Evolving
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We have it all wrong...We walk around in this hurricane we call life feeding ourselves lies to make it through the storm. There are several common misconceptions that we spoon feed our mind and tonight I want to focus on one in particular; love. See at some point we thought we had control over it and that we had the ability to pick and choose who we loved. Now I wont shatter your bubble too much, we do have some control.
You see her across the room or run across her bio on some social networking site or maybe you work with her. In your mind you tell yourself that you are allowing yourself to fall for her. But the truth of the matter is that your heart has a mind of it's own and your body simply follows like a hungry puppy.
Im sorry to tell ya but you can't control who your heart pants for. At the very least you can fight the urge and you either fall or run.