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Thursday, 10 February 2011 04:56

Exploring Gender: Gender and Dating

I want to talk about dating and how gender affects the process. Generally, dating is hard. There are so many aspects which go into a relationship: compatibility, willingness to compromise, similarities in values, and attraction, just to name a few. It is a struggle to find someone who lies within the parameters of what you are looking for and to fall within what that other person—who might fit all your hopes and dreams—is seeking.

People have certain expectations going into a relationship, and it is hard to compromise those expectations for yourself or to set yourself within those your partner might have. So what do people expect from me? Or really anyone? I feel like expectations have a lot to do with how you present yourself. If you present yourself openly and honestly, what you see is what you get, and you don’t have to worry about that conversation down the road of Hey, I think I might want to be a man or I have kids or any other form of surprise a partner might reveal once comfortable in the relationship.

peace love happiness

Dear Sappho,

I don’t understand how some cultures, religions or people can tell other people whom they can or cannot love. Here in America the text of the second section of the Declaration of Independence reads: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Article 1 of the UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS states: All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of humanity."

How could there possibly be any legal question or argument to prohibit the right of some to love?

Joan of Heart

Lauren-11Hello, Lezzies Spoken here once again.

 

Today we have a huge question so I am just going to jump into it. K?

 

Hey Spoken,

 

I recently began talking to someone for about a month and some change. I like them for a lot of reasons being their personality and outlook on life etc. Well if i was to label myself I would say I am a lesbian and the person I am speaking to is a Male [FTM (Female to Male)]. He has told me a lot about himself so far but we didn’t get to the part of being a FTM, which now he doesn’t even use that at all, he calls himself a Male. [He also clues in that he is a FTM, like he says he don’t use T shots and he kind of sounds like a girl, i don’t want to say emotionally similar to a girl but he kind of is] I didn’t touch on that topic with him or even ask questions because this is new to me and I don’t want to offend him in anyway, I don’t even know how to go about it. [When we first spoke he said, you know I am a male and you are a lesbian, then he told me he can only speak to people that respect his gender]I speak to him as if I know he was born a male. [I was just going to go about this whole thing like, ok I no he is a FTM but now i will respect him for the man he wants to be.. but where does that leave me.. being straight? which i am not*]I am also WORRIED about how our sexual relationship will work out, I don’t think he got any surgery done down there but the way he speaks about down there it seems as if he did.

 

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Lezbelib is the only magazine for LGBTQ+ women that daily keeps you updated about what is happening in the world for our community.

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Lezbelib also hopes to provide a space for exchanges and meetings, a space where you feel free to be yourself.