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Tuesday, 31 May 2011 15:20

"You're not a lesbian"

Written by  user-66

There's nothing more frustrating than when people base my sexuality off of the gender of my partner. My sexuality is independent of any particular individual and it should be respected as such. With that being said, my partner is a straight man, and identifies as being trans. I've known and loved him before he figured out this part of himself. It was a big thing for him to be able to tell me that he was going to begin transitioning. As his girlfriend, it wasn't a big thing because I was going to be there for him no matter what but, as a lesbian, I was confused and displaced because "I'm a lesbian, I don't date men"....I went back and forth with the idea of being with him, as a man. But eventually I realized that my love for him and our relationship is way more significant than my general "dislike" for men.

Now, as he becomes more comfortable with his male self, people criticize me for being with a man and identifying as a lesbian. They say I should call myself "bi-sexual" but I'm not "bi-sexual" I'm a lesbian. Or they say I should call myself straight but I'm not straight. I'm just me. The more I've thought about it for myself, I become more aware of the fact that I don't HAVE to be anything. If I could have only learned one thing from this love, it would be that labels are merely words, and they only mean what you allow them to mean. At this point in time, I don't call myself a lesbian, although it's what I know myself as; as long as I know what I am, it's ok. And to the world, I just want to be seen as a girl in love...nothing less and nothing more. Because when it boils down to it, that's what we all want. We just want to be looked at as a person in love...just plain 'ol beautiful love.


Lezbelib is the online magazine that helps LGBTQ+ women to stay updated with entertaining blogs and breaking news about LGBT rights.